Dude, creepy story. I loved this.

It started out with something as plain and mundane as buying a new dresser and then escalated into something way more sinister.

As if I wasn't already paranoid of haunted houses, now I have to be worried about old dresser with stuck drawers? Jeeze!

I wonder where the original man went that was first shoved in the drawer? And where Linda will go once she does her creepy business... <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/let…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Lick)"/>

The whole scene of the bones snapping back into place was as gruesome as it was haunting. It sent a little shiver down my spine. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/x/x…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title="XD"/> I feel bad for that poor husband. I think that was the part that got me the most. I was thinking, "Dude... don't go there. Just call the police man and let them handle it." Of course he didn't though... because people in horror flicks never do the sensible thing. Thank goodness.



Vision

I thought the story was really clear through and through. I didn't feel like anything had been left out. The descriptions were great, the emotions, and the build up in fear were all done well.

Originality

I've never read a story quite like this before. Very interesting concept.

Technique

There were a few minor bumps that slowed the story down for me when reading.

just a disclaimer- please don't let these little notes discourage you. I really think you did well besides a few minor flaws.

<img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="10" height="10" alt="" title="Bullet; Black"/> What tense is this set in? During the first few paragraphs the tense keeps switching between past and present. Choose one and stick with it. It seemed like you were going for present tense but after a while, the story switched completely to past tense. There was a lack of consistency.

<img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="10" height="10" alt="" title="Bullet; Black"/> Unneeded words. There were some words that you used more than once, which isn't a problem but most times the sentence could have been just fine without them.

~Almost. There are only so many times something can be 'almost' something until it gets old. I counted six times in the document.

~Had. Over use of this word actually slows the story down. If the sentence can be rearranged and do well without it, then do it. Isn't it much better to read He said rather than He had said? I was going to give an approximate count of how many times you used that word in the document, but lost count after eighty.

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Impact

This I think was your strongest point. There were some really good descriptive elements that left me sort of cringing the way a horror story is supposed to. I'm officially creeped out now.

Thanks for an awesome read and submitting it to #TheWritersMeow! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/h/h…" width="15" height="13" alt="" title="Heart"/>